Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Ok, Now You're Just Being Gross

Plenty of people do plenty of things in the name of youth and, presumably, beauty. Facelifts, chemical peels, boob jobs, chopping off a toe or two, okay, fine. Even I use anti-wrinkle cream...though mostly on my hands, because I keep forgetting to buy hand cream.

I have the youngest hands you've ever seen. -- Raphael Quinet

I recently learned about something called “placenta serum.” It's made from the placentae of sheep. No one's telling us how.

But I think I have an idea. -- warrenski

If you rub it on your skin, you'll be sixteen forever. Nutrients, you see. And proteins. Anti-oxidants. Placenta.

You know it works, because ancient mumble mumble secret mumble mumble Romans.

The purpose of placentae is to help those little bitty baby sheep get older, but they'd like to shut me up for saying things like that.

4 comments:

  1. You almost had me. If you had only said, "mumble mumble ancient Greeks."

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  2. This is interesting. When I was a kid, all I wanted was to be able to see the tendons on the backs of my hands. I thought that meant I was skinny and pretty. Then I got old and realized, oh, you see the tendons when you GET OLD. Ditto under-eye circles: I used to think they were hot, in a, "I'm an artist and never sleep and torrrrrment" kind of way. Now I realize: Fuck, that's just what happens when you get old. So now I'm spending a lot of money to undo the things I wish I had when I was ten years younger. Make sense? NO.

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  3. Dude, I have friggin' suitcases under my eyes. :P

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