Friday, October 7, 2011

Fun Friday Facts #11: Still Haven't Run Out of Facts Yet


So, it's Friday again, and you know what that means! Buckle your seatbelts kids, and please, keep your arms, legs and heads inside the vehicle.

Or feel the burn of my laser vision! BZZZZZZZ!

1) In France, refusing to carnally satisfy your spouse is apparently grounds for divorce. According to this piece from the Indo Asian News Service, a 51-year-old Frenchman has been fined 8,500 pounds ($13,270) by France's highest court for failing to have relations with his wife over a 21-year period. By my calculations, that makes marital sex worth $631.90 per year on the open market.

So quit complaining about Valentine's Day, you guys. ~ John Hritz

2) According to this website, Chinese Geese are the best geese to keep as pets. Now, I grew up in the countryside, and I always though geese were the mean-ass thugs of the avian world. I ran afoul of a flock once in Boston Commons, and I barely escaped with my life.

Seriously, they have anger issues. ~ chris.huggins

So I'd never think to keep one as a pet. Unless I had some twisted urge to get my kneecaps pecked off daily.

There are, nevertheless, plenty of people out there claiming that Chinese geese, when well-socialized, make fantastic pets. When not well-socialized, I'd imagine they'd peck your kneecaps off.

Chinese geese are said to follow their owners around like dogs, and are even believed capable of guarding the house from intruders.

Well, I'll give them that.

The problem is, geese are birds, and birds poop everywhere. No, you can't potty-train a goose. You have to a put a diaper on it. I'm not even joking about that.

I highly recommend clicking that link, it's hilarious.

3) In another classic “WTF Japan” moment, executives of the Japanese branch of Domino's Pizza have announced plans to build a Domino's Pizza on the Moon. The freakin' Moon, you guys.

This cold, lifeless bringer of tides. ~ NASA

Come on, Japan, you have heard that it's not actually made of cheese, right?

The project will cost an estimated $20,923,972,754. Employees will be required to live on the Moon. Customers, presumably, will also be required to live on the Moon.

Scott K. Oelkers, president of the Japan branch, stated publically, “Perhaps you think we're foolish to take on such a challenge, and maybe we are foolish, but we have a dream and that dream is to deliver our Domino's pizza on the Moon.”

I'm all about following your dreams, Scott, but there's a fine line between genuis and insanity. I think you crossed that line when you announced, publically, that you're building a pizza shop on the freakin' Moon.

4) According to some scientists, animals – or at least, mammals – actually enjoy having sex. I really don't want to think about how these studies were performed, but it seems that “lesser” mammals and humans experience activity in the same regions of the brain during intercourse, suggesting that all of us might feel similar sensations when we get it on.

I'm never going to look at this the same way again. ~ Paul Lim

Most animals don't hump recreationally, because you can't wrap your willy without thumbs, and reproducing any old time would mean extinction for most species.


5) And, for our final fact this Friday, the Westboro Baptist Church has announced that they'll be picketting Steve Jobs' funeral. Holy zealot, Batman, is there anything these people won't protest? Jesus Christ Himself could come down from the Heavens and knock on their door, and they'd tell him God Hates Long Hairs.

Seriously. ~original image by k763, lovingly modified by me

Naturally, they announced this protest via iPhone.

Aaaaaaand facepalm.


11 comments:

  1. Yeah because I was just telling someone I can't wait to move to the moon but darn, they don't have a Dominoes Pizza.

    WBC is a bunch of assholes. Too bad we can't send them to the moon with a sack of 6 White Castle sliders. And no ketchup.

    ReplyDelete
  2. It's no good, they'll just have pizza. :(

    ReplyDelete
  3. the sad thing is, they probably WOULD protest Jesus. Find something wrong with the guy, like maybe He Looks Too Much Like A Hipster, and they'd just GO TO TOWN.

    Point one reminded me that in late Victorian and Edwardian times, you used to be able to sue someone for breaking off an engagement because it was some kind of legally binding contract. So that's good to know if we ever find ourselves travelling back in time and "accidentally" getting engaged.

    (I would've posted this as paulie, but I'm way too lazy to switch accounts right now)

    ReplyDelete
  4. Yeah, because marriage itself was taken a lot more seriously back then, especially for women, because getting married was pretty much a girl's only chance to make it in life. It'd be like taking a job contract today, and then getting fired before you even started.

    Joan of Arc got sued for breaking off an engagement (this was before she started talking to God). The court found that the guy was full of sh*t.

    ReplyDelete
  5. or, you know, taken seriously at all.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Are you sure there's a line between genius and insanity?

    ReplyDelete
  7. And she knows there's a line... because... well, the picture says it all! lol

    Good thing there's a preview or I might've posted some very politically incorrect comments about the moon and those who want to go live there.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I'll post politically incorrectly about said moon people. WTF? First off, if you're in space and on the moon in a pizza shop {okay}, wouldn't that pizza have to be freeze dried? Well I for one, don't want freeze dried pizza and would lodge a complaint. Secondly, you know the 20 minute or less delivery time would be a total fail, then probably breaking some franchise agreement. Third, does Japan even have a space program?
    Gonna have to look into that.

    Awesome post as usual girl, and geese as pets? Maybe on the moon.

    ReplyDelete
  9. @rachel I must say I'm intrigued about these politically incorrect comments you mention.

    @Cari Good point about the space program. Maybe they're planning to establish one just for this? Sounds like they're going to build a pizza shop on the moon and then wait for the moon colonists to show up. Maybe knowing you could get a freeze dried pizza makes colonizing the moon sound more appetizing, ha ha ha. I, for one, am picturing geese in little space helmets and diapers.

    ReplyDelete