So, a couple of weeks ago I was bored on a Sunday night, so I decided to go hang around in Wal-Mart for a couple of hours. Because I live in West Virginia, and we'll get a decent pub in about another forty years or so.
|And when we do, it'll look like this. ~ dok1|
Sheer desperation forced me to Use My Imagination, just like when I was a kid. As you may have noticed, I've gotten really good at it.
|Growing up here will do that to you.|
So I wondered over to the toy section, where imagination springs to life, or goes to die, depending on your lifetime level of exposure to Hippie-fied Ideas and, of course, the strength of your natural immune response. Here are some of the toys I found:
|Oversized Head Dolls.|
I know you can't really tell from the picture, but these dolls have heads the size of baseballs. WTF, dude.
Speaking of oversized heads:
|Gah. Look at the lips on that thing.|
|DON'T LOOK AT ITS EYES!|
I was never real big on girlie toys, perhaps because they're so freakin' creepy.
|Baby Alive? Looks like Baby Undead to me, actually.|
|Disney: Where every princess has the exact same face...|
|...except for Ariel, who seems to have developed a peanut allergy...|
|...and Cinderella, who also has a rather oversized head.|
Barbie's really starting to show her age...
...and seems to have dumped Ken for his grandson.
|Seriously, you guys, he looks about 17. Can anyone say, "Jailbait Barbie?"|
|I don't think the Dynasty Barbies are for kids.|
|I don't think these are for kids, either. At least, I hope not.|
I was verbally assaulted by a Sesame Street character...
|Haunted Elmo, sponsored by the letter F.|
...and then I found these, which I'm not even sure I wanna know about:
|Did I mention lips already? *shudder*|
The Easy-Bake Ovens are super futuristic:
|Reminds me of The Jetsons.|
And we might as well prepare our kids for the zombie apocalypse...
|...whether they're as good as zombified...|