So, a few weeks ago now, I had a photo shoot on the campus of West Virginia Wesleyan College with the renowned Leona Davis, an old schoolmate of mine. I had decided that it might be time to have some real, actual, edit-the-mustache-out author shots taken. I asked Leona because I was vaguely aware that she was a photographer or possibly knew someone who was a photographer. I turned out to be right.
Leona kindly agreed to take some photos of me, and, as a special Friend Bonus, also make sure that I looked hot in them. In return for this kindness, I taught her three-year-old to say “douchenozzle.”
|He pronounces it wrong, but he's only three.|
The photo shoot gave us the opportunity to catch up on the past 12 years and reminisce about high school. It turns out that, unbeknownst to either of us at the time, we hated all the same b*tches. That's the basis of a true friendship -- hating all the same people.
After viewing the photos, I was personally scandalized by the horrid amount of weight that I've gained, but no one else seems to have noticed, except for some very ill-mannered relations who think it's okay to randomly ask if I'm pregnant.
|NOT pregnant, JUST fat. Bitch.|
No, but seriously, she did a great job. No mustache, no double chin and my boobs look enormous. Thumbs-up.
I really only needed a couple of photos, but I ended up with lots. That's cool, I can use some on my dating profile to reel in more winners.
I'll have my pick of the weirdos now.