Jealousy is a no good, horrible, very bad thing. It will
turn you into the worst person ever in no time at all. Some people say jealousy
is a healthy thing. I say those people are stupid.
I get jealous sometimes, just like everyone else. When I
feel jealousy coming on, I try to remind myself that the grass
is always greener over the septic tank. As long as I’m pontificating on the
subject, I might as well go ahead and point out that while you’re busy being
jealous of someone else’s great hair or new car or go-go-Gadget arms or
whatever, they are almost always jealous of your amazing breasts, horticulture
skills, or laser vision. It’s a universal constant.
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Can you tell I'm just making things up. |
Even worse than the effect your jealousy has on you is the effect
it has on other people. It will make them avoid you. No one has time for your unpleasantness.
When I was a little girl and got picked on in school –
usually for being
a genius – my grandmother used to say, “It’s just because they’re jealous.”
That’s why I think that anyone who leaves me negative blog comments or sends me
hate mail is jealous – and why wouldn’t they be, because I am awesome.
Sexual jealousy is the worst. Being smoking
hot like I am gets you a lot of that. The unpleasant ex Toad Blowhard was
madly jealous, because deep down in his reptilian brain he understood that
literally any man, even a comatose one, would be better for me than he was. Needless
to say, I am no longer dating jealous types. That isn’t to say I’m not still on
the wrong end of some sexual jealousy. I know a lot of dudes who are
jealous because I had sex with some other dude instead of having sex with them,
and God forbid they should let me just get away with the crime of making my own
choices. I swear, I must be part of some top-secret government
crazy-magnet-implant experiment. There’s just no other explanation.
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I will pry that thing out with a fork if it comes to it. |
I am never jealous about anything. It is so negative!! I think when people are they have a problem...seriously! www.sandysanderellas.blogspot.com
ReplyDeleteLetting it get out of hand is definitely a problem.
DeleteI try not to be jealous anymore. You're right, it's a waste of energy obsessing over others when I could just be working at making my life better. I say this now, when life is good for me but I'll admit, since I human, I'll probably have a few weak moments.
ReplyDeleteSure, if you didn't you wouldn't be human.
DeleteLOL!! Love your hilarious take on it! Yes, the grass is greener over the septic tank!
ReplyDeleteThanks!
DeleteLove it! So true. :)
ReplyDeleteThanks! Glad you liked it!
DeleteYes those septic tank dwellers have greener grass, but it smells bad...further illustrating your point!
ReplyDeleteDefinitely, I hadn't thought of that. Sometimes the ground gets a little squishy too...ew I just grossed myself out.
DeleteLove your sense of humor! Stopping by from the blog challenge.
ReplyDeleteThanks for stopping by! Glad you liked it!
DeleteNegativity is always a waste of time. Jealousy certainly falls into that category. As does envy. It's good you are avoiding people who perpetuate those.
ReplyDeleteYeah somebody on Triberr pointed out that I was actually talking about envy, not jealousy. I avoided him. (I think he's jealous. Tee hee.)
DeleteSadly, jealousy kills when love is involved.
ReplyDeleteIt does indeed. I guess some people don't feel truly loved unless their partner is jealous. smh
DeleteI don't think I have jealousy issues. I'm glad you posted this, though. I hadn't considered the jealousy possibility with the blog stalker I'm coping with right now. It's a bit reaffirming. I think I struggle more with being judgmental. There's nothing I despise more than people who judge others, but it's something I have to fight against in myself all the time--and I do actively fight it. I guess it's true that we recognize in others what we despise in ourselves.
ReplyDeleteI don't know if that necessarily is true, I think it's perfectly normal and acceptable to dislike someone because they are unpleasant.
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