Monday, June 10, 2013

I’m Afraid of Mirrors


They really creep me out. I’m so afraid of mirrors that I brush my teeth in the kitchen, so I don’t have to stand there looking into the mirror for two minutes. It’s not as if I need the mirror anyway – I know where my teeth are.

I’ve been afraid of mirrors ever since I was a little girl, when I first realized that nine out of ten murder-ghosts pop out of mirrors (the tenth one is posing as a hitchhiker). I know most of these killings are associated with summoning a murder-ghost on purpose like an idiot, but I’m not taking any chances. Even though I’m a grown woman in the 21st century and I should “know better,” I’m convinced that someday something is going to leap out of a mirror and eat my head.

According to an informal survey of my Facebook friends, I’m not the only one who’s afraid of mirrors. Dozens of superstitions and legends about mirrors have sprung up over the centuries, in cultures across the world, so I guess it’s part of the human condition to hate mirrors even as we feel compelled to peer into them several times a day.

Mirrors are supposedly capable of showing a person’s soul, which is why vampires don’t have reflections. Some cultures have believed that mirrors are capable of trapping a soul, either after death, during sleep, or even in the course of normal mirror use, which is why the ancient Romans believed (and we still believe today) that breaking a mirror will bring seven years of bad luck – because breaking the mirror damages your very soul, WHICH IS NOW INSIDE THE MIRROR AND NO LONGER IN YOUR BODY, EEP. That’s why people in some cultures cover their mirrors when someone in the home is sick, or has recently died – because they don’t want the person’s soul to be trapped in Mirror Land, which is probably not the happenin’ place that Through the Looking Glass made it out to be. I guess the need to comb, fold, fasten, plait and glue your hair into unnatural positions every morning trumps the need to protect your very essence. On the plus side, if your house is haunted, you can just hang up some mirrors, and they’ll suck the ghosts right up.

This mirror is stealing the soul of a dog.

Creepily enough, as I was writing this, the wall mirror in my bedroom fell off the wall ALL BY ITSELF and scared the crap out of Shoe aka Fatty. I leapt to conclusions and yelled at him, which didn’t help matters.

He says it fell because I fastened it to the wall with "mirror-hanging tape." He may be right.



16 comments:

  1. I hate mirrors, but just because I don't like my image! I must need more mirrors in my house because I swear I have a poltergeist!

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    1. Do you have a teenager at home? Because they're supposedly connected. http://mysteriousuniverse.org/2012/11/poltergeists-teen-angst-telekinesis/

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  2. I don't like mirrors either but only because I don't like looking at myself. However, I also get creeped out after seeing scary movies and walking past one.

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    Replies
    1. I don't think there's a woman alive who likes looking at herself, now that you mention it.

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  3. With all the mirrors in our house it's a wonder that I'm not a dead man. Between all the mirrors and clocks we could either be living in a house of horrors or hovering in some interspatial outpost between infinity and nowhere.

    Lee
    Tossing It Out

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    Replies
    1. You could be living in another dimension and NOT EVEN KNOW IT. zomg

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    2. I live in Los Angeles. I already know I live in another dimension.

      Lee
      Wrote By Rote

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  4. I have always been creeped out by reflections, as I don't trust them completely given that HOW DO THEY KNOW WHAT I'M DOING ALL THE TIME? That one Poltergeist movie (I think it was the 3rd one) with all the mirrors is still in my nightmares sometimes. I still get worried (usually when I'm home alone at night) that my reflection is going to do something I'm not doing, which on the one hand would validate my fears, but on the other hand, would kill me. My reflection wouldn't have to do anything to me; I'd likely die of a damn heart attack! After shitting my pants, of course, because there's nothing like postmortem humiliation to drive home a point.

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    1. You shit your pants after you die, anyway, might as well get it out of the way.

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  5. Truths part about mirrors that freaks me out the most is medicine cabinets. Because there's no way in hell you're gonna open that thing up and close it again without some horrid beast standing behind you. It's just not possible. It's what they wait for!!!

    Hugs!

    Valerie

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  6. Mirrors & hitchikers .....
    Have you watched the show "Supernatural"?
    If not, you should. all the creepy urban legends the Winchester brothers get to fight.... Makes the bunchabitches at work seem almost human in comparison.
    :-)
    ~PolishSpring

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    Replies
    1. No, I haven't. I'll put it on the list.

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  7. It's only since I started on strong anti-anxiety meds that I could stand being around mirrors in the dark. They don't bother me at all in the light of day, but in the dark they are portals to hell.

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